Our Hero

When Ben, our go-to-man, was swimming laps at the local pool, we had some extra excitement one evening.   Emily came running inside telling us a snake was in the nesting box.    Alex gallantly donned some leather gloves and removed the snake from our chicken coop, because the rest of us were too scared to do it. 

If snakes have bad attitudes, this one did.  While it was striking at Alex, Alex gave a maniacal laugh, reached in and grabbed it behind the head. 

I distinctly heard his actions translated, "Danger, I laugh at you."  At that moment, I saw Alex becoming his take-charge, fearless dad.

I drove to an undisclosed location with our tailgate open while Alex held the squirming, twisting snake.   But the story didn't end there.

There was a second snake waiting for relocation.   Yes, two snakes seem outrageously scary.   Two snakes simultaneously seem to defy odds.   

This snake was so glutted on eggs, it was more docile.  That golden yellow goodness must have a soporific effect.  Once again, we hopped into our getaway car and drove this snake to another location.   

Our neighbor's son was out biking and probably wondered why I was going ridiculously slow with the tailgate open.   He peered behind his shoulder as we passed.  I wonder if he knows that holding even a sleepy snake requires vigilance.  But the story didn't end there.

There was a third and final snake in the nesting box.  Three snakes all at the same time.  You would think it was the opening scene of a horror movie. 

I asked the boys to muscle pose as by now Alex had become our hero.  Now looking back I wish we hadn't already relocated the other two snakes, because this picture would have been even better with a snake between Fritz's teeth and another as a scarf around Teddy's shoulders. But I digress.

This third snake was reluctant to give up what had come so easy.  Feistier than the rest, this skinny snake fought with its only developed muscle, brain.  We sincerely hope this juvenile delinquent learned that crime doesn't pay and will never return to a life of theft. 

Trespassers beware.  Our hero will hunt you down and without mercy throw you into the long grass.